Note to Jimmy Page re: his current 25-year-old girlfriend. Jimmy, you’re a genius who has worked harder than anyone I know. You’re tall, dark, thin, handsome and worth over $150 million. You’ve swived more women than Billie Jean King. You can date anyone you want until you are about 90. So think Clooney. Date a very kind way-beautiful multi-talented to-die-for woman of any age from any nation with great legs and non-harpie facial expressions about 15 pounds lighter who has her own money. Really, dude. WTF.

